I have continued to wonder about why grief is often so crippling and difficult to resolve. It seems that many people get stuck focused on past memories of the loved one who has died. I keep wondering why the memories have to be so painful. As I thought about this I remembered that I have seen a lot of people who seem stuck in the past but have actually seemed to bring the past up to the present. I then wondered if people who are experiencing grief can bring their memories of their loved one into the present and it is like having them with them.
So, how does someone bring past memories into the present time? Recently, one of my patients told me how she looks through photo albums of loved ones who have died and feels like they are with her now as she experiences these memories like they are happening now. This is very soothing for her. Maybe whenever we have memories we actually are experiencing them in the present. If we become aware that our memories of loved ones are in the present, can this allow us to trust that we can continue to feel our connection to them? What do you think?