"SHE THINKS THAT I AM REAL"

One of my patients told me a story that exists on the internet in a number of different versions of basically the same story.  The story revolves around a family going out to eat and the waitperson takes their orders and comes to the youngest child who says, "I'd like a hotdog and a coke."  Her parents then tell the waitperson that she is having chicken, broccoli and milk.  The waitperson then turns to the child and asks what she would like on her hotdog.  After the waitperson leaves to place their orders, the child looks at her parents and says, "She thinks that I am real." 

My first reaction was to feel sad that the child felt that since her parents did not allow her to make choices in her life, she felt like her thoughts, wishes, feelings didn't matter.  I wonder if this is what it feels like being bullied, only it will be harder for her to tell her parent's about it. So, does being bullied make us feel that we are not real, not worth anything, or that we don't matter?  Do we have to be listened to and then be encouraged to make decisions for ourselves, to feel that we are real and worthwhile?  Is it that simple?  

I have previously blogged about how children who are bullied are more likely to become depressed and to commit suicide as adolescents; ["Being bullied as a child and self-harm behavior as an adolescent".]  So it is clear that bullying is traumatic for those who are bullied. It is therefore very important to identify those who are being bullied and get help for them. It is also important to be aware of what constitutes bullying so we can confront it wherever we encounter it, even in ourselves. We must all be so careful to treat everyone that we meet as if they are real.

What do you think?