My daughter and I just had a discussion about whether letting go is ever achieved by withdrawing from someone and giving up trying to help someone.  My daughter was sad to think that a solution to feeling responsible for others could be eliminating them from your life.  She felt that this would then seem to leave the person who formerly was treated like they were not able to manage on their own and subjected to frequent advice and criticism, feeling all alone as they kept working to take responsibility for themselves and become independent.

Withdrawing from others can seem like a reasonable thing to do if you feel that the other person doesn't follow your advice and then will blame you if things aren't right.  You  could justify withdrawing  from someone in order to not have to feel responsible for them and then be able to let go of that responsibility.  However, is that really letting go or are you still feeling responsible and coping by withdrawing from them so that you will not act responsible for them.  Isn't letting go a process of letting go of the feeling [and behaviors] of responsibility for someone so that we can have a relationship with them.  This will allow us to be supportive and encouraging as we let go of taking over for them [that responsibility thing] and instead, believe in them.

The hard part in my experience is being "encouraging and supportive."  It seems to require that we actually listen to others without our own agemda getting in the way.  This will help us to really see them and be able to see their strengths and abilities.  We then can encourage them by recognizing their strengths and supporting them trusting themselves.  Or, you could withdraw and justify giving up on them. 

Which path do you choose?

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