THE IMPORTANCE OF "TAMING"

Taming is a reference to what the fox is teaching the little prince in the book by Saint Exupery called The Little Prince. In this book the fox is helping the Prince to understand what it means to care about others that the fox calls "taming" others. The Prince learns that because he cares for and loves the rose that is on his planet, his rose is special for him even when he is seeing hundreds of identical looking roses in front of him. The fox tells the Prince that because he spent time getting to know his rose and slowly learning about his rose, his rose is special to him compared to all the roses that he is looking at. The fox then teaches the Prince that "it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." The fox tells the Prince that when you tame something, you then have ties to each other and will forever be unique to each other.

If we all choose to tame others and develop a relationship with them it would help bridge the gap that seems to separate a lot of us. It does actually seem that what is essential in our lives has to do with forming relationships with others. 

WE REALLY DO NEED EACH OTHER

The recent Beta Theta Pi magazine has an article about preventing suicide and refers to a Harvard study [The Harvard Study of Adult Development] and comments from the study's fourth director Robert Waldinger, M.D. [who is  a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School] who concludes that friendships and relationships in general are highly correlated with happiness and contentment with one's life. Since 1938 Harvard researchers have studied 724 men for 79 years. They found that if one is to do well in their life they need to have close ties to their family, friends and community. These close relationships also seem to have significant impact on overall health. With close relationships there was more happiness and these men were healthier and even lived longer. The researchers concluded that lonliness was toxic. Unfortunately, frequently more than one in five Americans say that they are lonely. This self-report of lonliness is what is coorelated with poor health as well as feeling unhappy. Further emphazing the importance of close relationships is the fact that the quality of relationships at age 50 is what predicted health at age 80. Also, having a close relationship in your 80's will protect you from cognitive decline. The ability to count on your partner was what seemed to be very important and this applied to work relationships between employees and their supervisors as well. So, prioritize relationships and seek close connections to others. It could be the answer to long life and happiness.

What do you think?

ETCH YOUR MEMORIES ON HEARTS, NOT TOMBSTONES

I recently attended a memorial service for a friend of mine.  During the service, my friend was repeatedly described as having character and being very generous.  He did not need to have credit for what he achieved over his lifetime as he was happy to have others get this recognition.  Someone else, in describing my friend, mentioned that he "etched his memories on hearts and not his tombstone."  They elaborated by saying that valuing and spending time developing relationships with others is what defines a life worth living.  

I had to travel a long way to attend my friend's memorial service and I am glad that I did.  I only wish that I had kept up with our friendship better.  But, thanks to my friend and the way he lived his life, I am now committed to put more time into relationships as well as my family.