PARENTING MADE EASY?

I have previously blogged about how the two year old child of a mother who sees me started to ask "where are we?" and this question seemed related to when his mother was starting to cope with a percieved threat by removing her awareness from the situation as if she were not there.  This coping mechanism is called "dissociation."  Her son was very sensitive to this happening and his question would then bring his mother back to the present and to being aware of her son and others who were there.  Young children seem especially good at being present and don't seem to get stuck in the past or future.  

Since children seem to be sensitive to whether or not their parents are with them in the present, it might mean that they can help us to be present with them and this will help us to be present more of the time in other parts of our lives. So, what is this "presence?"  Eckart Tolle suggests tha it is an alert, attentiveness to what is happening now.  He contrasts this with interactions when we are telling our children what to do or not to do.  I know that at times in the past, that dominated my interactions with my children. It is necessary some of the time but I also recognize now that I would often tell my children to do something that they were able to handle for themselves without my reminding them.  Being present with our children which supports them making decisions for themselves seems important as we strive as parents to help our children to gain self-confidence so that they will make decisions for themselves and take on the task of becoming independent, responsible people.  

So it seems that if we allow our children to help us to be present with them, they will be more likely to be happy, independent adults and we will become much better at being with people and enjoying them without having to feel responsible for them...eg having to tell them what to do.  Now, does any of this make any sense?  I am hoping that it does and I am reminded that every time someone who comes to see me has asked that question, the answer has always been yes, it does make sense.