NO ONE'S COMING TO SAVE US

I was reading an opinion piece in the May 31, 2020 Sunday Review by Roxane Gay who reviewed all the bad things happening recently with many in our government continuing to not take responsibility for facing the truth of what is happening and then helping us to safely get through it. Ms. Gay then focused on racism and how the truth of institutional racism and exploitation is still frequently denied and yet many people of color still hope for a cure for racism. That is when Ms. Gay concluded that "no one's coming to save us." I then realized that "no one is coming to save any of us" and that we should be thankful. When anyone else "saves" me, you or anybody else, it never works out very well. We are the only one's who can save ourselves. 

So what is saving ourselves? Is it speaking our truth and being willing to stand by it and uphold it as we believe in it? What if no one else speaks their truth and thereby supports your efforts to remain true to your truth. Well then you will have to go it alone, believing that others will support you in tiime. Enough voices and actions can change things. Black lives do matter and it is wrong that our country has acted like they don't for hundreds of years. Before, if there was a recognition of the fact that black lives do matter, it was with a defensive position that all lives matter.  

What I believe is recognized now more than ever is that until black lives actually matter, no lives really matter.  We can only value our own lives if we value all others. This seems to be true. This reminds me of a political slogan about making America great again. That saddens me as it doesn't recognize that America has never been great because of our exploitation of African Americans and Native Americans. To go back would be to return to justify acting like black lives don't matter as exploitation would be continued. What encourages me is seeing the response by young people to the recent protests related to police violence towards African Americans. It seems like more and more Americans are actually choosing to believe and act like black lives matter. This gives me hope that America can be great [better] for the first time when we choose to act like, and live our lives like, all people actually matter.

LIFE DURING AND AFTER THE VIRUS

Well, we are all having to cope with the changes and uncertainty that this pandemic has presented to us. Many of us have had to make extraordinary sacrifices as we have given up our jobs and businesses as we cooperated with self-quarantining, thus reducing our interactions with each other as we avoid contact and when we had to have some interactions we kept six feet apart and even put on masks for further protection. It seems like a lot to expect of people and yet they [we] are responding and taking responsibility for following directions and maintaining safety. Who would have predicted this level of cooperation. Maybe you don't feel like there is a lot of cooperation but there does not appear to be coersion, either. So, does this mean that if we are all facing the same threat we will join with each other and face this threat together? Does this mean that previously percieved differences between us and others are no longer important or do the differences actually seem to disappear?

The pandemic gives each of us the opportunity to choose to be present as we become accountable to ourselves, and each other, as we follow the guidelines that keep each other safe by choosing to wear masks to protect others...strangers even. Isn't it true that by wearing a mask we are acknowledging our connection to everyone else? Can this then lead to a feeling of contentment and even the possibility of a feeling of joy?

I am also sadly reminded that the worst "pandemics" we have faced over the centuries are not from viruses, but from tyrannical rulers who have infected millions so that they will choose to kill each other in wars as these rulers promote our seeing the world as an "us against them" place. In contrast, the viral pandemic can help us see that we are linked with each other and not against each other. Maybe we can choose to have the feeling that we are connected to each other endure after the pandemic is over.

What do you think?

BEING A COUCH POTATO PUTS ADOLESCENTS AT RISK FOR MENTAL ILLNESS

In the March 10, 2020 edition of the Asheville Citizen Times, An Associated Press aricle quoted Aaron Kandola, a Ph.D. student at University College London's findings that adolescents who are inactive for a large portion of their days during adolecence are at increased risk for depression by age 18. There was a correlation of the amount of activity for more than 4200 adolesents as measured for 10 hours for at least 3 days when they were 12, 14, and 16 years of age. For instance, an additional 60 minutes of inactivity each day at ages 12, 14,and 16 led to an increase in depression scores of 11%, 8% and 10.5% respectively by age 18. In addition, those with high levels of inactivity at these ages had 28% higher depression scores at age 18. Unfortunately, it seems that adolescents are becoming less active. This study does not prove a causal connection of inactivity and risk for depression but the correlation is strong. The study was published in the February 11, 2020 Lancet Psychiatry Journal.

The good news is that even light physical activity seems to protect from depression. So, small changes in adolescents environments with opportunities for movement, can make a difference. Let's get moving!

SILENCE IS NOT GOLDEN IF WE ARE IGNORING RACISM, SEXISM AND ECONOMIC INEQUALITY.

There was a recent opinion piece in the New York Times regarding the problem of being silent in the face of people being racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. In his TED talk from July, 2014, Clint Smith talks about the danger of silence. He says that we spend so much time on what people are saying we overlook what they are not saying and by doing so, join them in not using our voices to tell the truth about what we see happening. We are thus complicit in their silence.

So, when is silence good and how can we compassionately use our voices to tell the truth? I have blogged about listening without our personal reactions as a way of being emathically connected to those who we are listening to. Listening without our personal reactions is also called "silent listening." One advantage of not reacting to what is being said is that the person speaking is more likely to hear themselves and may be more likely to choose to take responsibility for what they are saying. If we react to those we are listening to, we give them an opportunity to focus on our reaction and not what they are saying. So, does this mean that we should listen to people making racist, sexist and homophobic statements and not react? Yes, because of what I stated above. However, if we are listening without our own reactions and we need to say something, our brains will tell us what to say...really! And importantly, we will say it calmly and with compassion. This can be a powerful way to confront statements that we feel are wrong. However, what about people who are silent about these statements or ideas/beliefs? Well, if they hear you say something about what you believe is true, this can help them to comment on these as well [voice what they believe is true]. I believe that listening without reacting is helpful no matter the circumstances unless the person talking is being verbally abusive or threatening. Then I would walk away or back away. If we can establish and maintain an empathic connection to someone, this can help them to overcome their fears and lonliness. Then they might not have to cope with their fears and lonliness by being racist, etc.

What do you think?

IS COMMUNITY CENTRAL TO WHO WE ARE?

I read an article by Nancy Kaffer from the Detroit Free Press on January 25, 2020. It is partly a review of a tv show called "The Good Place" and partly her reflecting on what is important in life as portrayed in "The Good Place." The premise is that we need to build up points for good behaviors to get to the "good place." Yet another question comes out about what do we owe to each other? Nancy Kaffer wonders if we owe each other "radical inclusion" that says every human life holds equal value, and that we need to practice radical empathy as Grace Lee Boggs [an author, social activist, philosopher and feminist] challenges all of us to ask what it means to be a more human, human being. 

Kaffer then reflects on how it can be difficult to be good as we are more aware of the unwanted consequences of our good decisions that end up reinforcing negative outcomes like income inequality and racism. She discusses a drop in attendance at churches but now a growing awareness of the importance of "community" in defining our obligation [relationship] to each other and that "proximity" helps us to see the humanity in those we might otherwise see as "other." Finally, Kaffer refers to an unnamed activist who recommends that we "love our neighbor as we love ourselves." A shift from "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" as it might be that to love others we need to love our selves. This loving ourselves might allow us to be able to live empathically as we recognize each other's "essential humanity," regardless of our skin color or country of origin, so that we can see others as fully human as we see ourselves.

So, is it important to us homo sapiens sapiens that we feel part of a community and does that require that we allow ourselves to be close enough to others to see them as just like we are [humans] and then be open to loving them as our neighbors and as we love ourselves? Would we then automatically include all others into our community and feel an empathic connection to them? What do you think?