BE A LITTLE KINDER THAN NECESSARY

The above was recommended in a children's book ; Wonder, by R.J. Palacio, that I read recently.  The book is about a boy with a severe craniofacial anomoly.  In other words, his face is very distorted, startlingly so. The boy is teased and the book portrays how he and his family, friends and classmates deal with his different appearance. The boy at one point wishes every day were holloween so that everyone could wear a mask everyday. This book reminded me of the short film ; "Butterfly Circus" where a man born with no limbs learns how to believe in himself and no longer feel ashamed of himself.  In this film, the limbless man is called "magnificent."" I asked my son about this and he said that "we are all magnificent."

How often do we lose sight of this regarding ourselves and others?   Do many of us even believe that we are magnificent?  There is something wonderful about all living things, including us.  Maybe we are able to see this about ourselves and others when we are in the presence of people who are different.  Maybe if we all are a little kinder than necessary, we will be able to see how wonderful we are.

REVERENCE FOR ALL LIFE

Reverence is a feeling of profound awe and respect.  Albert Schweitzer felt that having a reverence for all life was ethical and moral, while anythng that destroys, harms or hinders life is wrong.  Schweitzer believed that alll life was sacred.  He spoke out against war and nuclear weapons as well as speaking out against our destruction of the environment.   At this time of deep sadness as we open our hearts to the families and classmates of the students who were killed at their elementary school in Connecticutt, I am reminded that all life is precious.  I also believe in people and their ability to choose good over evil.  

Why don't we take this time to honor those children who died and our own children, by valuing life and reaching out to others, while resisting putting others down or judging them.   

RISK OF SUICIDE AND OF SUICIDE ATTEMPTS

It is difficult to assess the risk of suicide and suicide attempts in children and adolescents although it is possible to identify risk factors.  

One risk factor that seems to be important involves how a parent talks to their child or adolescent.  If statements are mostly negative that are directed to the child or adolescent, this increases the risk of suicidal behavior.  This clearly indicates that children and adolescents are influenced by what and how parents talk to them.  It is also clear that negative communications are damaging and not effective in achieving behavior change.  Being encouraging and supportive with our children and adolescents will lead to positive behavior change and increased self-confidence.  A study looking at what indicates whether a child will be successful as an adult [be able to function successfully independent of their parents] correlated significantly with the amount of positive communication parents directed to their children during their preschool years.  Successful children were talked to more and with a much higher percentage of positive and encouraging comments. It is never to late to start emphazing positive and encouraging statements to our children, yet it is just better if it starts out that way from birth.

Other risk factors related to suicidal behavior in male and female adolescents include: if they disobey their parents; don't talk to their parents; have had a recent argument with their parents; and if there is a family history of depression or substance abuse/alcohol problems. Risk factors for female adolescents include: death of a family member or illness in a family member.  Risk factors for male adolescents include: parents separated or divorced; parent recently lost a job; the adolescent is adopted; or a parent has been jailed.

It is important to pay attention to a child or adolescents statements about suicide and also important to ask your child or adolescent if they are thinking about suicide or have ever thought of it.  If you are concerned about a behavior change in your child or adolescent, ask about suicidal thoughts or impulses. Just talking about suicidal thoughts/impulses will reduce the risk of your child or adolescent acting on them.  In addition, talking about how to handle feelings and stress and offering your support to listen to your child or adolescent, can be very helpful.  Listening without immediately offering suggestions, is very supportive.  Finally, talking about a safety plan with your child or adolescent is important with a focus on ways that your child and adolescent can ensure that they will be safe.

YOU ARE NOT A STATISTICAL AVERAGE

Almost all research involves larger numbers of people and this allows the results to be discussed as the probability that the changes in symptoms was related to the treatment.  This does not tell any individual if the treatment will work for them except that it can be said that there is a probability [% liklihood]  that they will respond.  

So, why is this important?  Everyone of us has to discover if we will respond to a treatment and for blood levels, we need to find out what a normal blood level is for us. This is always important and yet it can be very important for hormone levels. An example is the TSH [thyroid stimulating hormone] that is used to evaluate thyroid function.  It will tell you if it is normal, meaning in the normal range.  That is a statistical average of a large number of people and your normal range may be different.  This diagnosis [hypothyroid] is a clinical diagnosis and this means that the diagnosis is made by the symptoms that you have. Then you can be treated and see if the symptoms go away.  When your symptoms are gone then you can check a blood level and find out what your normal TSH level is.  This is one reason why your input to your physician is very important.  Knowing your symptoms and researching possible diagnoses and sharing these with your physician will help your doctor take care of you.  If your physician does not listen to you, you might consider changing physicians.  Another situation where your input can make a big difference has to do with evaluating your response to medications.  It is helpful for you to know how long it usually takes for the medicine to work and what the possible side-effects are.  If you experience side-effects, that could mean that you need to have the dose lowered.

Be an advocate for yourself with your physician[s].  It is good for you and also for your physician[s].

WORDS OF WISDOM

From a tweet by Cory Booker [Mayor of Newark, N.J.]:" give more than is expected, love more than seems wise, serve more than appears necessary, and help more than is asked."  This was written after the damage from hurricane Sandy.  His encouraging others to share and care about each other is a way to help people cope with the loss of their posessions, their neighborhoods, and unfortunately for some, the loss of their loved ones.  

Philosophers have for thousands of years written that we [humans] are all connected and all in it together. If we are bombarded by negative news, disasters, and dire predictions about the future, it is hard to feel the connection with others and the support that this can bring.  It is interesting that often after a disaster affects us personally, we become reaquainted with our neighbors and realize how many neighbors that we actually have.

I am hoping [and believing] that we won't need disasters to bring us back together.  We can start now. Value yourself and then give more than is expected.