WHAT IS TREATMENT ALL ABOUT?

One of my children asked me about how I help people who come to see me.  I began reflecting on the different ways that I provide support and encouragement for my patients. I was able to identify a number of different things that I attempt to do.

I believe that my first effort is to help my patients feel that they can trust me to listen to them and value their participation in their own treatment.  Their treatment is a collaborative effort and I need their input to be able to help them. I believe that my willingness to take the time required to listen to them, helps to develop the trust that is required to be able to help them.

After listening, I will ask questions to try to further define the specific nature of their symptoms as they experience them.  I also will be sure that I ask about any stressful events in their lives and what they remember about them as well as whether or not they think about them now. I also carefully go over all of their experiences with medications and supplements.  I will then go over their responses to checklists that I asked them to fill out before beginning our time together.  

After I have a beginning understanding of some of their symptoms and stresses as well as how they cope and their strengths, together we will talk about possible diagnostic understanding and options for beginning treatment. 

I feel that it is important that any initial diagnostic understanding be linked to specific symptoms they are having and the treatment I suggest is also specifically targeting some or all of their symptoms.  We then discuss how they can use their coping skills to reduce their symptoms and to improve their quality of life.  We also discuss new skills that they can develop and what symptoms they are focusing their skills on reducing.  

At every appointment, we review progress in reducing symptoms and improving their quality of life.  I listen carefully to what they report about how they are doing and I am careful to encourage them to pay attention to everything they are experiencing regarding their treatment as I have often seen that even things like unintended missing medication doses can represent their brain telling them something important about their medications.

I also write down suggestions and possible ways to use specific coping skills that we have discussed and give this to my patients at the end of each visit.  

REVISITING GRIEF

I have previously blogged about grief and wondered if our ability to reach a level of acceptance about our loss is important as the acceptance will keep us from continuing to experience the absence of our loved one.  This continued feeling of loss can occupy our brains and keep us stuck in the past.  So, being able to accept the loss may be important but how is that accomplished?

It seems that getting beyond (past?) the sense of loss may allow for acceptance. If we can shift our focus from our feelings of loss and even abandonment, we will be able to remember our loved ones and feel their presence attached to these memories.  If we remain stressed our brains will focus on trying to reduce the stress and this will block our access to memories and a sense of the presence of our loved one.  

Since we are our experiences and our relationships to others, just being ourselves will help us to know that our loved ones are still with us.  Now, being ourselves requires that we trust our memories and allow them to be alive in the present moment.  This means not trying to force memories but trusting that they are there.

This sounds kind of spooky, doesn't it? Still, you might give it a try.

BE A LITTLE KINDER THAN NECESSARY

The above was recommended in a children's book ; Wonder, by R.J. Palacio, that I read recently.  The book is about a boy with a severe craniofacial anomoly.  In other words, his face is very distorted, startlingly so. The boy is teased and the book portrays how he and his family, friends and classmates deal with his different appearance. The boy at one point wishes every day were holloween so that everyone could wear a mask everyday. This book reminded me of the short film ; "Butterfly Circus" where a man born with no limbs learns how to believe in himself and no longer feel ashamed of himself.  In this film, the limbless man is called "magnificent."" I asked my son about this and he said that "we are all magnificent."

How often do we lose sight of this regarding ourselves and others?   Do many of us even believe that we are magnificent?  There is something wonderful about all living things, including us.  Maybe we are able to see this about ourselves and others when we are in the presence of people who are different.  Maybe if we all are a little kinder than necessary, we will be able to see how wonderful we are.

AND A CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM

My wife and I recently watched [again] the movie "Juno."  It portrays the life experiences of a teenage girl who becomes pregnant and decides to have the baby and give it up for adoption.  The relationship of Juno to her parents, boyfriend, girlfriend and future mother of her baby, are all beautifully portrayed.  After the movie, I thought about "And a child shall lead them."  This is from Isaiah 11:6 in the old testament of the bible and is thought to refer to the second coming of Christ when all pain and suffering is gone and all creatures get along.  I believe that I thought of this because of the wisdom that Juno shows about relationships, love and what is important in life.  She grows in self-awareness [and confidence] and by sharing this with others [eg. by just being herself] she gives others the opportunity to grow in their own self-awareness and be transformed.

My own children and children who have come to me for help, have repeatedly shown me their ability to see things clearly.  I have learned to listen carefully to children and I have gained in my own self-awareness. Children trust themselves [if we don't get in the way].  As adults, we often have to relearn trusting ourselves.  Our children can help us, if we let them.  And a child shall lead them, your child can lead you.

TRUSTING YOURSELF

When I was in college, I used to frequently change answers on tests.  Almost every time I ended up changing a right answer for a wrong answer.  Studies have found that abut 80% of the time we change right answers to wrong answers.  I only stopped doing this after one of my professors would go over my test in front of the class and point out the number of times I did this.  So, I stopped changing answers on tests but I then caught myself analyzing things and using a pros and cons list or getting the opinions of a number of people, to help me to make decisions. None of this seems to work.  I have come to believe that my first impression is the best one to go with.  I have had to learn to recognize my first impression or intuitive understanding of things as I can quickly think of another answer and tell myself that it is my first impression.  

I believe that our brains have stored lots of information that is ready for us when we need it.  We just have to trust these first impressions and act on them, even if we don't have a paper trail of how we came to this understanding.  Try it and see what happens.