HOPE IS A GOOD THING, MAYBE THE BEST OF THINGS AND NO GOOD THING EVER DIES

The above is from the movie "Shaw Shank Redemption" in a letter written by Andy to Red encouraging Red to not give up and to join Andy after Red is paroled. And Red does just that. So, is that statement true. Is hope the best of things and will it never die? How is that possible?

Is hope a basic aspect of being human? Will it live on in humans and never die? Fear makes it hard to feel hope. Fear is the enemy of hope and as Stephen King has been quoted as saying: "Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free." It does seem that fear can hold us prisoner as we are constantly controlled by our fears and are also at the mercy of our fears and at the mercy of people who fuel our fears in an effort to keep us afraid and immobilized so that we can be manipulated. This is a very sad way to live and will keep us prisoner until we can turn away from fear and embrace hope. 

If we are brave enough to see ourselves clearly and recognize that we do not need to be afraid and see others as working against us, then we can choose to begin to let go of our fears and begin to feel hope for ourselves and for the world around us. 

What do you think?

I’M AGAINST THE EXPRESSION “JUST SAYIN”

I recalled "just sayin" when what I was thinking was validated by what happened. So, just sayin is like giving advice and then repeating the advice indirectly with this phrase and reminding the other person that you were right. So many problems with the attitude that "just sayin" seems to promote. Foremost,  it fools you into thinkin that you can predict the future and that this is helpful. Next, it reinforces the idea that it is helpful to give advice. Also, it makes it harder for you to realize that all of this is like an insult for the other person as you are acting like you know better and don't believe that they will figure it out without your advice. (You are hopefully well intentioned with your "just sayin" but it is still like an insult for the other person). It seems that homo sapiens, sapiens needs to, decide for and take responsibility, for themselves. We have the ability to choose and apparently need to use this ability.

What do you think?

CONSUMING FEAR OR CONSUMED BY FEAR?

After the terrorist attacks in Paris, I heard a priest give a sermon where he said that we are being consumed by fear, that we are like vultures, and the fear is like carrion. This sounds like we are consuming fear and can't get enough of it.

My patients have shown me that their fear makes them like the carrion and they are being being consumed by the vulture of fear.  If it seems that we cannot get enough of fear, it may be that is because we feel compelled to expose ourselves to stressful events over and over.  An example might be the TV news that seems focused on reportiing stressful events over and over. Maybe we keep exposing ourselves to stress in the hope that it will change and be ok and no longer a stress. Some of my patients saw the planes hit the twin towers thousands of times.  I saw it twice and I was upset with myself for choosing to see it a second time, as that was not necessary and only increased my stress level.  It also seems that stress is related to worries and that worries are almost reassuring in that if you worry a lot you will always know what is going to happen...you will be worrying.  

So, why is it so hard to stop worrying?  As I've mentioned, being able to know what was going to happen each day may be reassuring enough to keep us worrying.  I also wonder if our brains recall past stressful events and bring up a memory of this event as a way of asking us if we are still stressed by this but we think our brains are making statements, telling us to be stressed and worried.  So why don't our brains tell us they are asking questions?  This might have to do with the fact that it is our brain and we are supposed to be in charge and make the decisions that then tell our brains what to do.  This may not sound like the way your brain works, or mine.  Yet this is important as it reinforces the importance of the choices that we make and that it really is up to us.  

So if it is really up to us why does it seem like it isn't?  What do you think?