IT IS ONLY WITH THE HEART THAT ONE CAN SEE RIGHTLY, WHAT IS ESSENTIAL IS INVISIBLE TO THE EYE

In the Little Prince by St. Exupery, the fox tells the little prince his [the fox's] secret, that is very simple.  The secret is: "it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." The Little Prince was written in french and the quote above in french is: "Voice mon secret. Il tres simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec led coeur, l'essential est invisible pour les yeux."

So, what is this reference to seeing with the heart?  In the Little Prince, the fox had already helped the little prince to tame [become friends with] the fox.  The little prince told the fox about a flower on his planet that he cared about but was demanding and irritating as well.  The little prince then saw a field full of identical looking flowers and was dismayed.  "I thought my flower was unique in all the universe" he told the fox.  The fox then helped the little prince see that his love for his flower made his flower unique to him. The fox then told the little prince his very simple secret that: "it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."   

So, what is the meaning of this quote as a guide to how we are to live our lives?  Well, our eyes are really quite remarkable in their ability to detect when things are not level or not where they should be. However, it is often overwhelming to try to keep up with everything happening around us only using our eyes. You might have noticed that you can drive somewhere and when you get to your destination you have no memory of the trip. This is likely because you drove based on stored information from your memory.  So, in that way you drove using your eyes to see what your memory was showing you from past experiences.  So, our brains have lots of stored information that our brains provide to us when we need it.    

It seems that trusting our brains to give us answers when we need them can be helpful.  An example of this might be the problem of worrying and feeling stressed before an exam and how this makes it harder to recall information that you have studied.  The worry and stress becomes the focus for our brains in an attempt to reduce this stress and this makes accessing stored information [what we had studied] much more difficult.  

So, is "seeing with the heart" related to trusting ourselves to know what is important in life and not letting ourselves be distracted by worries about the past and anxiety about the future?  What are you seeing?

FEWER 2-5 YEAR OLDS ARE OBESE!

Sabrina Tavernise reported in The New York Times on February 26, 2014 about a recent federal survey showing that obesity in 2-5 year olds was reduced by 43%.  This is even more significant as 3-5 year old children who are obese are five times more likely to be overweight or obese as adults.  This reduction represents a change from 14 % of 2-5 year olds who were obese in 2004 to 8% in 2012.  This report has been published in JAMA.  Unfortunately, older children and adults continue to have high rates of obesity with 17% of children and 33% of adults being obese.  Women over 60 have actually increased their obesity rate. 

So why are fewer young children obese.  Some possible explanations are: that more women are breastfeeding; children are consuming fewer calories [4 % for girls and 7% for boys]; children are consuming fewer sugary drinks; day care centers are promoting healthier foods and more physical activity; and the federally financed Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children has reduced funding for juices, cheese and eggs while increasing funding for whole fruits and vegetables.  Also, Michele Obama's Let's Move Program has been promoting more exercise for children. Finally, there have been recent indications that community supported public policy programs have helped children in low income school districts to lose weight as they ate healthier meals and exercised more. 

It seems to me that a number of efforts to help children lose weight are working as families are being shown how to reduce weight and are also helped to do so.  I believe that people do their best and if they are shown different ways to change patterns of behavior they will do it.

ARE WE OUR BROTHER'S [SISTER'S] KEEPER?

Recently there have been two more killings that have been justified by claims of self-defense as the shooters felt "threatened."  One threat apparently was popcorn being tossed at the shooter's face and the other based on loud music coming from a car with a number of young males in it.  Previously a man in Florida pursued a young man wearing a hooded sweatshirt and felt threatened because the hood was covering the person's head.  None of the people killed had weapons unless a box of popcorn is considered a weapon.  Does feeling threatened justify killing?  Aren't we supposed to be looking out for [caring for] other people? Are there other ways to deal with feeling threatened?  If guns don't kill people, it is people with guns that commit the vast majority of killings in the United States.  Other countries with fewer guns have many fewer deaths from guns.  

So what are we to do?  I have previously blogged about the importance of having reverence for all living things and the problem of having guns increasing significantly the risk of someone being killed.  Does the right to bear arms really mean the right to kill others because we feel threatened or does it really mean that the states have the right to have militias?  Does reverence for life only count if we don't feel threatened?  

My understanding of reverence for life is that our own lives are enhanced by caring and having respect for living things and that our lives are diminished when we do not treat living things with caring and respect.  Isn't it time that we in the United States committed ourselves to having reverence for the living and stop having reverence for guns?

LETTING IRRATIONAL CONTROL YOU.

I have helped many people who are bothered and consumed by trying to make sense of what other people say or do.  It has become clear to me that feeling a need to understand others is risky because we can't know about other people and sometimes if we can't make sense of others it is because they are trying not be be understood as this is one way to control other people.  Since we need to make sense of what others do, if we can't, we keep trying and do not consider that it actually doesn't make sense. Actually, none of us can really make sense of others, as we are not them. We can also not be responsible for others as they are not us.  We, of course, can be encouraging and supportive of others.  This does not mean telling others what to do but encouraging and supporting them making decisions for themselves. 

So why do we get caught up in trying to make sense of what others say and do?  It seems that we are hard wired to feel like we need to be able to make sense of things.  This may be because if we can't make sense of what others say or do we then feel separated from them and this concerns us.  A major problem with this is that other people can take advantage of us by saying and doing irrational things. We can let these people control us as we keep focusing on trying to make sense of what they do and say and this can immobilize us as there is no sense to it.  This is the way tyrants control people and is also the way people who are being abused are controlled and one reason that they stay in those abusive relationships.  

So, what does all this mean?  I believe that it points out that to be connected to others requires that we are willing to be in a relationship and do our part to help there to be a connection.  Therefore, if it is a one way street, let it go until the other person is really interested and ready to be in a relationship. 

HOME AWAY FROM HOME

An opinion on the op-ed page of the January 22, 2014 New York Times by Stacy Torres talked about an incident in a McDonald's retaurant in Qweens, NYC where police were called to remove a number of people who had stayed in the restaurant for hours while purchasing only a cup of coffee.  There were mixed responses from the public with some applauding this and others feeling that it was not right and discriminatory. Ms. Torres points out that there is a growing population of elderly and homeless who frequent restaurants like McDonalds and will stay for hours and socialize with others.  Some of these people have indicated that they do not want to go to places for the elderly as they feel that they are places where you go to die and many of these people do not have any other place to go.  Many of them say that they like to be around other people and get lonely in their own places.  The restaurants are concerned about losing business at peak hours because of crowding as the elderly and homeless occupy a number of the seats and tables.  

So what to do? Keep calling the police to remove these people?  Hire security guards to either keep these people out of the restaurant or make them leave after a certain time limit?  Make a rule that if you only buy a drink then you can only stay for 15 minutes?  Ask these people to leave during peak times?  Ask these people to pay to stay in the restaurant when they are not buying any food?  Ask the other customers to donate money to help defray the costs of having these people stay in the restaurant and not buy food?  Ask the city to reimburse them for lost revenue?  Or should the restaurants welcome the elderly and homeless and have lower prices on meals and drinks for them?  And have neighborhood events at the restaurant that are open to anyone? 

So why is this important, or is it?  Well, we all need each other and need to be around each other or at least around some other people.  This helps us to feel better and be less stressed.  I have previously bloged about the importance of having reverence for all living things.  So it would seem clear that it is important for us to make room for each other and be with each other.  It just doesn't seem right for McDonald's to carry the responsibility for this by themself.